He Should Be Here
by KirstenSmee
Summary: As Jaz was standing there in the warm Californian weather with a cold beer in her hand, she couldn't help but feel like something was missing. And then she realized that it wasn't something, it was someone. Elijah. Jaz-centric, slight Jazmir


**A/N:** Inspired by Cole Swindell's "You Should Be Here" here is a little prompt about Jaz remembering Elijah with a slight Jazmir deviance in form of Amir comforting Jaz when memories get too painful. Hope you enjoy! Usual disclaimers apply.

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The latest deployment was the toughest that the team has ever had. But it was especially hard for Jaz. Because during the course of their ten-month deployment she lost her best friend, got captured and tortured in Iran and then watched the man that is as close to a father-figure as she ever had almost die. So she felt lucky standing in the middle of Preach's SoCal backyard firm on American soil and surrounded by her team, friends, and family.

After Preach got better the team collectively decided to throw a big party once they returned stateside. They usually didn't mark the end of their deployments in such an epic manner. But as they figured, this deployment was too hard for them not acknowledge that they made it through in one piece.

However, as Jaz was standing there in the warm Californian weather with a cold beer in her hand, barbecue scent in the air and children's laughter echoing through the yard, she couldn't help but feel like something was missing. And then she realized that it wasn't something, it was someone. Elijah. Because this party had Elijah written all over it.

Elijah loved parties. He was quick to throw one no matter the occasion. Mission well-done, a week without any missions, it didn't matter. Elijah was there hand around her shoulders, clinking his beer with hers and yelling cheers. And although this party was nice. More than nice actually, because it was one of those rare never-forget moments where all the people the team cares about were in one place, having a good time. Elijah was still missing it.

Just then one of Preach's daughters ran past Jaz with Top hot on her heels and it brought Jaz out of her musings. She realized that she had been standing in the middle of the yard staring into the distance. So she quickly moved out of the way, chastising herself for not being all about what's going on right here right now, one of the lessons Elijah had taught her and went to check with Preach's wife if she needed any help. God knows Jaz wasn't the domestic type, but she was damn good at chopping salad.

Only later in the evening, Jaz was brought back to thinking about Elijah. She was sitting alone at the bonfire they got going when she saw McG's mom taking pictures of her son as he was playing guitar, no doubt trying to impress a certain analyst that had come to the celebration all the way from D.C. along with her colleagues Noah and Patricia. And she was reminded that the only thing that Elijah loved more than parties and doing crazy stuff on missions was taking pictures. He loved capturing moments, big and small. And always said that she would appreciate all the pictures one day when Jaz complained about the almost constant click of Elijah's camera.

And, of course, he had been right. Now pictures were all that was left of him. And there were so many. Her favorite ones though were the candid ones Elijah had managed to capture of her and the team either at the base or on the rare downtime moments during their missions. As well as the few photos that there were of Elijah himself, which had been taken when one of them stole the camera from Elijah.

Elijah would also send every picture he could back to his family. And even had a few of the best ones displayed in a gallery in his hometown. Among which was one of Jaz staring off into the Turkish sunset, an explosion of colors in front of her. Taken on their previous deployment after a particularly hard mission.

With all this thinking of Elijah Jaz didn't even notice a rogue tear sliding down her cheek as she stared into the flames. And suddenly Amir was by her side asking her what was wrong, effectively pulling her from the painful memories she was reliving.

"He should be here," Jaz murmured wiping the tear away so no one else saw her crying.

"I know," Amir replied and pulled her in for a side hug. At first, Jaz was not sure if he fully realized who she was referring to. But then again, after that Paris mission and Jaz telling Amir about Elijah, the team had gradually transitioned to telling Amir more and more about their fallen teammate. And Amir gladly listened, because he liked to get to know the man whose place he had taken, so he could do right by Elijah, Jaz and the rest of the team.

"Everybody keeps saying that he's in a better place but, God, I wish he could somehow be here," Jaz continued leaning into Amir's hug.

Amir didn't know how to reply to that. He had experienced loss in his life too, but he still didn't know how to ease Jaz's pain. So he settled for squeezing Jaz's shoulder with the arm that was around her instead. They sat like that for a while, when Jaz suddenly spoke.

"But you know what's the hardest part about this?" she asked Amir, dropping her head on his shoulder.

"What?" Amir questioned not really knowing where Jaz was going with this. They had gotten really close ever since Paris. But most of the time Amir still had no idea what Jaz was thinking.

"If Elijah was here you wouldn't be," she replied quietly, letting her statement sink in.

Later in the evening Top gave a speech commenting on the hell of a year the team has had, appreciating the fact that they all have gathered here and thanking Preach and his wife for hosting the party. But as he went to toast all those things Amir had one more thing to add.

"To Elijah," he said as Top ended his list of things to toast to and Jaz sent a surprised yet grateful smile his way. They all lifted their drinks in the air and thanks to Amir proceeded to enjoy the evening feeling like Elijah was there with them after all.


End file.
